Scarlet Hopes and Paper Dreams
by InfinityForever7
Summary: A Cat-centric multi-chap based off of an original poem I wrote. Rated T for cutting and minor abuse. Contains Cabbie and Bade. Read and Review! *Summary Change, NOW COMPLETE!*
1. Serious Thoughts, For a Change

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious. All rights and characters belong to Dan Schneider, who, obviously, I am not. However, I ****do ****own the rights to the poem from which this story sprang, so attempt to take it and I ****will ****hunt you down.**

**FYI: This chapter is set on Sunday night.**

_Scarlet Hopes and Paper Dreams_

_Life is a treasure trove, it seems,_

_Of scarlet hopes and paper dreams_

_Of multitudes, that time will tell,_

_Are whims within an empty shell_

_They're prisoners of their own free will_

_And never can break free until_

_They tear the shell down from the seams,_

_Put their life's edge against the night,_

_They'll free themselves and win the fight;_

_Their scarlet hopes stain paper dreams._

She cuts.

She cuts to forget the pain of her childhood, the countless hours spent crying in her bathroom; every day, silence greets her as she steps through the door of her house. Her parents don't want her, they never needed her. They hardly even acknowledge her existence. Her brother loves her, but he's usually off somewhere doing strange things or in jail when she gets home, so they don't get to see each other very often.

It's better for him that he's not home, really. Because their parents fight. All the time. And all she can do is hide in her bathroom, lock the door, and listen to the screaming and the crashing and the shouting. It never seems to end. Even when they stop fighting.

Even her friends make her cut sometimes. She'll start on one of her random stories, and they think she can't see them rolling their eyes and sighing at her "stupidity." Well, she can. She sees a lot more than anyone thinks. She knows how they consider her to be the school's resident "dizzy redhead" and a bipolar mess. And she's always painfully aware of just how annying she can be at times.

Treated as an accident, branded as a mistake, the only release she has is the feel of the knife against her skin. The sight of ruby tears emerging from her flesh, a wound that weeps with her, only it cries red tears….

But every time she cuts, she remembers.

She remembers why she dyed her hair red. To give her strength, strength to remember who she is on the inside: a bright, happy, beautiful girl. Cat Valentine.

The hair dye does also remind her of her favorite food, red velvet cupcakes, but she would never share the first reason for its color with anyone. It's just too personal. So she tells her friends that she makes her hair this way simply because of a dessert; it's easier that way.

And every time she cuts, she also remembers….

Robbie.

That gangly, awkward kid who always has his hand shoved up a puppet. The one who killed the Chancellor of Yerba's octopus and got them all thrown into Yerbanian prison. The one who looks so weird that he was placed on the girl's side of that prison (and she's glad he was). The one who wrote a song about broken glass for a four-year-old's birthday party and tried repeatedly to get his friends to sing it.

He eats mayonnaise to calm himslef down after a nightmare, and his locker is decorated with baby bottle nipples. He's skinny, nerdy, awkward, he can barely talk to a girl at all, and let's face it, he's just plain _odd. _Seriously. Who has such bad dreams that they have to take couple's counseling sessions with a _puppet?_

But she loves him. That's **why** she loves him. Underneath all of his quirkiness and shyness she sees the truly amazing guy he is. And really, his quirks are what make him so darn adorable.

She loves him.

Even though his puppet (who "doesn't like to be called a puppet") insults her often, she knows he'll outgrow Rex eventually.

She accepts every part of him, and loves him for who he is.

And when she thinks of him, she feels stronger.

As she's washing off the knife in the sink, Cat makes herself a promise.

She will tell Robbie Shapiro, the one true love of her life (however cheesy it may sound, that's how she thinks of him), that she cuts. And that she loves him.

She's made up her mind to tell him tomorrow.

As she gets under her covers and turns of the bedside light, Cat realizes something.

She's never been more excited for it to be Monday in the morning!

**A/N Hm. My first story. I wrote this on a pad of sticky notes that I had in my purse while waiting for my mom to choose her new phone at the T-Mobile store (oh yeah, I don't own them either) a few days ago, and I've just now gotten to publish it. A warning:Though this is a multi-chaptered fic, the speed of my updates depends on whther or not I'm allowed to access the computer. So if I get in trouble with my parents, the computer is taken away for X amount of days. Also, I guess here is where I'm supposed to act like every other new author and beg you to only leave nice reviews. I'm not. However, if you're going to flame, PM me, please. All of this is original work, and I take my writing very seriously.**

**And oh yeah, I almost forgot! I'd like to get…. Maybe 8 reviews before I can update. Because if you're not interested, then what's the point of writing? So review if you think I should keep going!**

**Ridiculously long author's note ~ if you've even bothered to read this far down ~ END.**

~IF7


	2. A Young Giraffe Who Learns to Love

**A/N For this story (Since Dan schneider has not yet revealed her brother's name), I'm assuming that the name of Cat's very weird brother is Seth.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. All I own right now is a jar of pickles. Man, I love pickles….**

As she tries to fall asleep, Cat thinks….

Why does Robbie even _have _Rex? Like Jade said, "It's not normal for a 16-year-old boy to go around in life with his hand shoved up a – that." Sure, Rex can be funny, but sometime's he's just plain _mean – _and she doesn't like mean people. Wait, what is she saying? Rex isn't a person, he's a **puppet. **

A puppet that she can live with for now. Like many other things in a teenager's life, Rex is just a phase that a shy, nerdy boy who's unsure of himself is experiencing. Like that one time, when her brother was eleven and she was eight, everything Seth ate for a whole month had to have the letter "y" in its name. The family spent a lot of money on yogurt and yams that month.

For now, that dummy is just a way to conceal his insecurities and put up a façade against the world. She knows what it's like. She has her own façade too…. Just a better one.

Most people don't even know that Cat Valentine is possibly the best actress Hollywood Arts has ever seen.

How, you ask. How could she be such a great actress?

She acts daily. Each and every waking hour of her life is a carefully rehearsed performance. All of her lines must be delivered correctly, so that no one suspects a thing.

And boy, is she good at what she does.

If every life were a play, then hers would be on Broadway.

Most people think that lying for a living isn't an easy profession.

Were you to say that to Cat Valentine, she'd giggle and tell you just how wrong you were.

Never once has anyone had doubts as to whether or not she really is bipolar. (She isn't.) Never once has anyone had to stop and ask themselves if there is a deeper meaning to one of her stories about "a young giraffe that learns to love." Never once has anyone seen the bruises on her body from when her parents beat her. She's good with makeup, so no one ever sees.

As she checks the little clock on top of her nightstand, Cat sees that it's 11:11. And right there and then, she makes a wish.

She wants to be a young giraffe who learns to love.

**Well? Did you like it? Hate it? I hope you liked it. Yeah, this is kinda just filler, but it also shows some of my thoughts about her…. And I really liked the quote "A young giraffe who learns to love" from Wi-Fi in the Sky. It just reminded me of Cat. So…. Even though one person favorited me (Thank you so much, .Love01), I didn't get any reviews on the previous chapter. So if oyu've read the story, review! Just tell me what you think! Even a few reviews would mean so much to me. **

**Keep believing.**

**~IF7**


	3. All I Wanted was a Burrito

**A/N If you're reading this, then I must take the time to thank you for your kindness. So, seriously, thanks! I tried to make this chapter pretty long…. So enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Once, I **_**did **_**own Victorious… And then I woke up in bed this morning, and I didn't own it anymore! Phooey….**

As the bell rang for the start of lunch, Cat shoved her books into her locker, slammed the bright, sparkly pink door, and headed down the hall to the Asphalt Café. Passing Tori at her lit-up locker on the way, she greeted the brunette with a quick, perky "Hi!", then continued walking, only to be stopped by Tori's insistent "Wait!"

Cat spun around, sighing mentally. The Grub Truck was serving Festus' special burritos today, and they sold like lightning. How was she supposed to get one if she stopped to chat with Tori? Oh well, she could always text Rbbie and ask him to save her one. Anyway, the Cat that her friends knew was always ready to help a person in need, and never got impatient or annoyed. However hard it was, she had to keep her act running strong. But why, today, of all days, did it have to be so difficult?

She hitched up her smile and put on her happiest tone.

"Yeah Tori, what's up?"

"I'm so glad you could stop to chat!"

Again, Cat groaned internally. Festus' burritos were probably sold out by now, and she didn't want to have to eat whatever leftovers he managed to scrape together. Last month's Fish-Eye Jelly was just plain awful.

"Anyway, you'll never believe what happened to me on Sunday night!"

(Even bigger internal sigh) "Look, Tori, I'm sorry, but I really, really can't stop to talk right now."

"Oh but wait, wait, this'll just take a sec!" She then proceeded to yammer some incomprehensible stream of words mainly having to do with Trina, a can of spicy sausages, and yet another music producer that her talentless sibling had been rejected by.

Geez, what was _up _with her today? The skinny, cheekboned girl was acting a bit like her sister at the moment – bossy and self-absorbed.

"So then she took the sausages and shoved them up his –

"_Tori!"_

The half-Latina's face registered utter shock and bewilderment as sweet, bubbly Cat angrily interrupted her.

"C-Cat, what's wrong?"

Okay, it's official. I am never going to get a burrito if I stay here for even one more second. Any other time, I'd make up some lame excuse and start telling a crazy story about my brother, but right now, food is the most important thing on my mind.

"I'm really sorry, Tori, but I just gotta get to lunch."

I turned away, hoping this whole thing was finally over and I could go cram wahtever slops Festus had left in his truck down my throat, but Little Miss Cheekbones wasn't having any of that. As I started walking away from her, Tori grabbed my wrist, preventing me from going any farther.

Immediately, a sharp, searing pain shot up my arm.

I screamed, _"Ow!" _and yanked my arm out of her hands. As I examined it, I saw that one of the scabs over my cuts from last night had broken, and my wrist was bleeding. It wasn't that bad, but there was a little to much blood to hide.

Maybe, just maybe, if I make a dash for the bathroom and clean this up quick, I can keep my secret safe from this girl and _still _get to the Grub Truck in time to buy a burrito.

"Um, Cat, why is your arm bleeding?"

Yeah, bye-bye, burrito.

"Heehee, it's nothing, Tori. You just pinched me, that's all," I said, frantically trying to think of an excuse to get out of here _now. _Before she finds out. Burritos are the last thing on my mind at the moment.

Today was a bad day to wear short sleeves.

"No, Cat, I can see something's running down your arm…." She trailed off as she grabbed my wrist and turned it over, exposing the many crimson and white lines on my wrist, and tearing the scabs even more.

"Ow, ow, _owwwwww! _Tori, you're hurting me," I whimpered, trying to pull away. She just stared at me like a deer caught in the headlights of a car, as the bright red blood ran down my wrist and dripped onto the floor.

"_Tori, let go of me!"_ I pushed with all my might to get her off, while she tried her hardest to keep ahold of me. While we fought, my wrist just kept bleeding away. I started to feel a little dizzy.

"Tori, let me… Go…." My words echoed inside my head. I made one last effort to break free. As I struggled, my hand, now slick with blood, somehow pushed her in the stomach. Hard.

She dropped my arm as though it had burned her.

"Tori, I –

She just stood there in the middle of the hallway, shocked into silence. For once, Tori Vega was utterly speechless.

"I –

I couldn't even continue my sentence. Suddenly, tears started streaming down my face. My wrist _really _hurt now. I had to find a bathroom quickly.

As I dashed away from the scene, I looked over my shoulder. Tori hadn't moved and inch, and her expression hadn't changed. I don't even think she was breathing. Could that little push have knocked the wind out of her? No, I decided, it must be shock.

And then I realized….

There was a bloody handprint on her clean, white shirt.

_Crap._

Wonderful. Just glorious. Could anything else go wrong? Oh wait, no. It couldn't. Geez, I'm starting to sound like Jade…. Well, even the great Cat Valentine can't be all optimistic and smiley all the time. Especially when her life's basically just been ruined.

So now Tori knows my secret, she'll probably tell Robbie and Jade and everyone else, I left a bloody handprint on her shirt, and I'm really starting to get light-headed from all this blood loss.

Now I'm definitely never gonna get a burrito.

**A/N Oooo! A twist! *Le Gasp*! That's easily the longest chapter I've written so far – it has almost a thousand words if you remove the author's notes. I had the inspiration for this chapter in the middle of the day, so I knew I had to write it down or I'd forget. I actually didn't plan for this twist to happen, or for Tori to be the one who originally finds out, but the story kinda stated writing itself. Hope you liked the bit about Trina and the sausages. It just seemed like something she'd do. Also, you may think Cat's OOC right now, but that's really how she thinks on the inside – in this story at least. Also, obviously Tori's not self-absorbed like Trina. That's just Cat's annoyance talking. Please, please review if you've read this far. I do work hard to keep people happy. Thank you!**

**~IF7**


	4. The Kissing Wizard

**A/N This chapter is dedicated to Serene Cullen. I hope you like the Bade, I put it in there just for you:) I'mWickedCrazyYeahI'mAllThat, you and Serene have both been very supportive of me. So thanks! It really helps.**

**I'm sorry that the other characters haven't really come into the story at all yet…. But that changes now.**

**I'm finally doing a different PoV than Cat's! Yay! It should be a nice change…. I'll still be doing mostly hers, though. I like it that way.**

**Disclaimer: Quite obviously, I don't own Victorious. I wish I did, though….**

Jade's PoV

As the bell rang for lunch, I finished shoving my books into my locker and slammed the black, scissor-covered door. Peeking around the corner, I saw that Beck had done the same with his transparent one. However much I may call the design nerdy, I actually love the statement that he makes with his locker. It's adorable. But don't tell him that; I will hunt you down.

As he tured around, I walked up to my boyfriend, grabbed his hand, and started walking down the hall towards the Asphalt Café. But as soon as I had taken a few steps in that direction, he stopped abruptly, and pulled me into his chest.

He embraced me roughly, stroking the stop of my head and kissing my hair.

"You know, I was thinking…."

Shivers ran up and down my spine. I didn't normally hear this tone in his voice, this edge of pure _desire._ I didn't think he would break our virginities at school, but you could never be too sure….

"Tell me what you were thinking."

"Well…."

There it was again. That _need _in his words_. _I felt it too; a kiss wouldn't be long in coming.

"I was thinking. Who needs food anyway?"

I pulled my head from my chest and flashed him a smile. The one that only _he _ever got to see. The one that only _he _could ever bring out of me.

"Not me."

He grinned lazily, then pulled me towards the janitor's closet. Once we were inside, I barely had time to shut the door and lock it before his lips crashed onto mine, moving aggressively, hungrily.

More pleased than fazed, the one tiny part of my mind that wasn't focused entirely on Beck reflected on his sudden change of mood. Usually, he was gentle and _I _was the aggressive one. But this time, our positions had been reversed.

After what seemed like hours, we finally had to separate for breath. Emerging from our heated make-out session, I sighed, content for the first time in a while. I decided to let him know what was on my mind. Let him see how _right _this felt.

"Yeah, who needs food anyway?"

Right then, my stomach growled so loudly, I swear it echoed a couple times in that tiny closet full of cleaning supplies.

He laughed.

"Apparently, you do."

"But _Beccckkk…." _

He smiled even wider.

"Come on, we gotta get to lunch."

I sighed and rolled my eyes as he pulled me out of the closet. We'd only wasted about five minutes of lunch time, but it seemed like much more….

As we arrived at the Asphalt Café, I noticed that Beck was walking towards a table occupied by Andre and Robbie. Any other day, I would have protested and insulted them, but those five minutes in the janitor's closet had really improved my mood.

Robbie and Andre greeted us as we sat down. Andre was in the middle of composing a new song, and Robbie was fiddling around uncomfortably with his hands, glancing around and looking stressed. I noticed that he didn't have Rex with him. Huh. Weird. He took that puppet everywhere. But I decided not to comment on the dummy's absence.

"Hey, Robbie, why do you look so nervous?"

I can't believe that just slipped out of my mouth. I swear, Beck Oliver is a kissing wizard. Caring, politeness, interest in other people's problems; what next? Would I start an animal shelter?

He looked me in the eye for the first time. Wow. He looked like he was really freaking out about something.

"It's just, um, Cat's not here. And she always sits with us at lunch. I thought she might be with you and Beck, but she's not…."

He trailed off. Man, he really was buggin' about this girl. Any other day, I would have enjoyed his discomfort, but then Beck went and put me in and unusually good mood…. Hey, I'm not complaining.

I decided to change the subject, Clearly, this conversation was going nowhere.

"Hey Andre, is that a burrito?"

He looked up from the song he had been writing.

"What, this? Oh yeah, it is."

I eyed the steaming burrito on the table in front of him, and my stomach growled again. _Man, _did that smell good.

"What kind is it?"

"Oh, Festus's serving his special burritos today."

"_What?" _I half-shouted. "He only makes those things, like, once a year! I've gotta go get one!"

As I dashed towards the Grub Truck, hoping they weren't sold out yet, I faintly heard Beck call, "Get me one, too!"

I ran up to the truck, hoping against hope that Festus hadn't sold out yet. I couldn't see the man, but from the sizzling and banging going on inside, I knew he was there.

"Hey, Festus!" I shouted up to the open window. Immediately, he came to the opening and hung his head out to look down.

"Hello buddy, velcome to lunch!"

Anyone but me would have smiled at his strange accent.

"So, you got any more of those special burritos left? I need two, one for me and one for Beck."

He shook his head sadly.

"Sorry, buddy, I only got vone left, and I can't make any more."

"Well, I'll take it! Beck and I can share, it's okay."

He grinned, instantly regaining his cheerful demeanor.

"Thank you buddy, that'll be ten dollars."

"Ten dollars? That's way too much for a burrito!"

"You vant this burrito or not, Jade?"

I sighed. Clearly, there was no winning with this guy. I had to grab the food and go, before someone else got it.

"Fine, here's your ten bucks." I handed the money up to him in exchange for the burrito.

"Thank you so much, buddy, have a nice day!"

I walked back to our table, burrito in hand, and sat back down next to Beck. He looked confused.

"Just one?"

I nodded.

"That's all he had left."

"Ah. Thanks for getting it. Guess we'll have to share now, Jadey."

My eyebrows met in a frown. I did _not _like that dumb nickname. It was almost as stupid as my full name.

"You know I don't like being called that, _Beckett."_

He playfully mimicked my expression. It took all of her acting skills not to giggle like an idiot when he tried to contort his face to look like hers.

"And _You _know that _I _don't like being called_ that, __Jadelyn._"

She frowned again and opened her mouth to reply when none other than Tori Vega ran up to their table. She looked flustered, and her hair and clothes were messed up, kinda like she'd been in a fight with someone. Jade smirked. Well, at least someone other than her had the guts to take Miss Perfect down a few notches.

Everyone else at the table smiled at the brunette and greeted her nicely.

"Yo, Tori!" Andre grinned.

"H-hey, Tori." Robbie stuttered as he looked at his hands.

"Hey, come sit." Beck motioned her towards us. Any other day, I would have objected to her presence (And I still didn't love it), but it looked like she was buggin' bit time about something. So I didn't say anything.

As the half-Latina sat down, her buttoned-up brown jacket pulled up off her white shirt, I noticed an interesting splash of color on her stomach.

"Hey, Vega. Is that blood on your shirt?" I said, morbidly interested.

She glanced down at her stomach, glanced up at me, fearful, and pulled the jacket back down over her shirt.

"B-blood? No, why would you ask, Jade?"

I sneered. Looks like Little Miss Perfect isn't so good at lying. I slid closer to her. She was so preoccupied with trying to fix her outfit and hide her shirt that she didn't even notice me.

"Oh come on, Vega, we know you're all lying…." I trailed off as I yanked her jacket off of her shirt.

There _was _a full-spread, bright red bloody handprint on her white shirt. And it still looked wet. I blinked. Judging by the size of the hand, a child had done this. I frowned a little. Did one of the preschoolers next door attack her?

She pushed my hand away and tried to grab her jacket, but I held it out of her reach.

"Come on, Jade, give me my jacket back! I need it!

"Not until you tell us what's going on."

Yeah, what happened, Tor? Who did this to you?" Andre inquired as he glanced down at her shirt for the first time and then looked back up at me, shocked.

Ugh. That stupid nickname of hers always made my lips curl.

Next to me, Beck looked worried about the blood on Miss Cheekbones' shirt.

The skinny brunette looked at me imploringly. I gave a tiny shake of my head and dangled the jacket tantalizingly out of her arm's length.

Tori sighed in defeat.

"I-it's Cat."

Gasps and looks of shock ran around the table. I dropped her jacket, not caring about teasing her anymore.

"_Cat _did this?" Robbie asked, looking up from his hands for the first time since Tori sat down.

"But I don't understand how Lil' Red could have anything to do with tha-"

I cut Andre off. Cat was the most important thing on my mind right now. I would have loved to stick around and find out exactly what happened, but right now, I've gotta find that redhead.

I stood up abruptly, food forgotten.

"I'm going to go find her." My voice was brittle, determined, Nobody was going to stop me. And they knew that.

"We'll help you." I blinked in surprise. Robbie actually sounded…. Brave? Courageous? The others nodded in assent.

"Fine. We can hear the whole story later. For now, let's just split up and find Cat."

We all rushed off. Secretly, I was glad they had agreed to splitting up. I knew immediately where the ninety-pound girl would be hiding. We'd found each other there many times before.

I set off to my destination, walking quickly. I've gotta find her before anyone else does!

Cat's PoV

I cried as the water ran over my arm, washing the red blood away. As the tears ran down my face, to mingle with the blood and water in the bathroom sink, I shut off the faucet and grabbed some paper towels.

Crap, my arm hurts!

I wrapped the paper towels around it to soak up any blood that might come out, and dashed into the handicapped stall. I locked the door, then leaned against the wall and started sobbing again. Slowly, I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor, crying my eyes out.

This was all Tori Vega's fault. The one day that I wore short sleeves, the one day that I wanted a burrito more than anything else, the one day I really didn't wanna talk to her, she had to be pushy and grab my arm.

I sniffled a little and peeled back the paper towels on my arm to see if my wrist was still bleeding. There were a few tiny red smudges on the white paper, but other than that, it seemed like my cuts had finally stopped bleeding. I hissed quietly as the air hit the raw wounds. The cuts stung, bringing fresh tears to my eyes.

Faintly I heard the door open. Instantly quiet, I inched farther away from the door, hoping that whoever it was couldn't see me.

"Cat, are you in here?"

**A/N Yay, a cliffhanger! What do you think of this chapter? It's the longest I've written yet…. Should I keep going with this? Also, who do you think it is in the bathroom? I'd like to know any speculations you might have. Tell me if you even like this in a review! **

**Thank You Always.**

**~IF7**


	5. Cry Me a River that Soaks my Pants

**A/N Thanks to all my reviewers; you guys have finally gotten me up to 10 reviews! Woohoo! *Does happy dance while singing into a carrot*(Why a carrot, you ask? So I answer. It's what I was eating….) I'm glad you like what I'm writing. It makes me ever so happy. So, here's another chapter.**

******SPOILER******

**I'm gonna say that Jade's sister's name is Jessica.**

**Disclaimer: I'm obviously not Dan Schneider… Therefore, I don't own Victorious. Durr.**

Cat's PoV

As the new tears ran down my face, the air wafted by the opening of the bathroom door struck my cuts again, causing a fresh new jolt of pain. "And not the good kind," to quote Jade.

Footsteps sounded on the linoleum tile, slowly moving closer to the stall I occupied. I hoped the mystery person couldn't see my legs at the bottom of the stall….

The footsteps halted, and my worst fears were confirmed as whoever it was gasped. Apparently they had found me.

I watched the space under the door of the stall as the person approached. They certainly had a nice taste in combat boots….

Suddenly a fist pounded on the stall door. A little harder, and they'd knock the door off its hinges.

"Cat. I know you're in there. Open the door."

I gasped. That harsh, irritated tone. The boots. The pounding. It could only be one person.

Jade.

She came to find me.

I stood up to open the door, but hesitated as my hand landed on the latch. Should I really let her in? I didn't want to be lectured about safety and all that stuff.

"Cat. Let me in….. Please." Her voice took on a softer, kinder tone, one that was less pushy. She only used that tone when she was in a good mood, or when she felt like being nice to someone. So not very often.

I opened the door. She _was _my best friend, after all. And she was being nice. How could I not let her in?

She walked inside the stall, and paused as she saw my face. Her eyes traveled down to the paper towels I still held around my wrist. Her hand darted to my arm. Peeling off the paper towels, she crumpled them and flicked them onto the floor, then flipped my wrist over.

I couldn't even try to hide my shame, and I couldn't pull away. I looked up at Jade's face as she stood there, her head bowed over my arm.

A single tear ran down her cheek and dripped onto the lines on my wrist.

Without warning, she gathered me into a bear hug. I was shocked. Jade West, crying and hugging people? This was unusual behavior for her.

When she finally released me, she wiped her eyes and motioned for me to sit down against the wall. After closing and locking the door, she turned around and sat next to me.

"You know I love you, right, Cat? You're like a sister to me. My best friend." Her voice broke as she said _sister._

I smiled a tiny smile.

"Yeah, I know. Like the sister you never had, right?"

She recoiled from me, her shoulders tensing up as if to prepare for a blow.

"Cat…. Why'd you say that?" she asked with her head turned away from me, her voice hushed.

"_What's that supposed to mean?" _I half-shouted before I realized she was just asking a question.

"Just answer me, Cat."

"Um, well, it's just an expression…." I said hesitantly, wondering why Jade was acting so weird.

She sighed and relaxed, putting her back against the wall again.

"Sorry, I don't know why I overreacted like that."

"Overreacted about what? All I did was say – "

"I know what you said," she snapped, cutting me off. "I just thought you meant something else."

I was confused.

"And, by 'something else', you mean….?"

She huffed out a big sigh.

"You really wanna know? 'Cause this might take a while."

I nodded.

"Tell me, if you can."

She glanced at me. I made sure my expression was completely serious so she'd know I wasn't joking. But then again, it was pretty obvious that I wasn't in a joking mood.

"Well…. I had a sister…. Once." Jade's voice was hesitant and quiet, like she thought I'd laugh at her sadness or something. She cleared her throat before continuing.

"I was fourteen at the time, and I'd just started the 9th grade here at Hollywood Arts. Jessica had been cutting herself for a few months before I found out. One day, I knocked on her bathroom door to ask her for some eyeliner, and she didn't answer, so I assumed she was gone, and I barged right in. She was just standing there, in front of the mirror, holding a razor to her wrist and letting the blood drip into the sink." She paused, took a deep breath, and let it out. "She didn't even try to hide it, or tell me to keep her secret. She just stared at me, and I left the room."

"After a few weeks, I was rejected for a part in a big play I auditioned for. A talentless, frilly, bubblegum-chewing airhead got it instead of me. So I went home that day, grabbed my razor, and slid it across my wrist."

"The pain was amazing, better than anything I had ever felt. It took away all my cars, my worries…. The best way to drown out emotional pain is with physical pain. So that's what I did. And it went on like that for a few months."

"But one day, Jessica cut one too many times, and she came down to the breakfast table with a bright red line on her arm. My parents went ballistic. They took away every sharp object they could find in her room."

"And so, after school that day, she came to me. She knew I'd been cutting, but our parents didn't. I was too good at hiding it."

"She asked for my razor. They hadn't let her touch hers for two weeks, so her legs were a bit of a jungle."

"I honestly thought she was just going to shave. She'd been cut-free for two whole weeks, after all. So I gave it to her."

"But I was wrong."

Jade bit her lip. She tried to hold back a sob, but failed. Suddenly her head was in my lap, and tears were pouring out of her ice-blue eyes. She continued to speak, her words punctuated so often by sobs and gasps that they were all but incomprehensible.

"I didn't see Jess all day after that, and I thought she was just doing homework…."

"That night, she cut her wrists and her throat. My parents found her lying in a bathtub full of her own blood."

Jade swallowed, tears carving tracks in her pale skin as they ran down her face, trickling onto my legs and soaking my jeans. But I didn't mind.

"She had written the names of the people she loved in her diary, and taped the page to her mirror. Mine was first on the list, and it was underlined. Under it, she had written _Never forget me, sis. I love you. Don't throw away your life like I did. ~Jess."_

"I haven't cut since. I promised myself that I'd respect her wishes and stop."

"After that, my parents really started giving me the cold shoulder, like it was my fault for thinking she wanted to shave her legs. My dad beat me at every chance he could get, while my mom just stood there and watched, like she didn't even care. She never did or said anything to make him stop, and I knew they'd both rather have me dead to have Jess alive. In a way, that was just as bad as the beatings."

"Eventually, my dad had an affair with some random rich lady he met in a bar, and my parents got a divorce. He fought long and hard for custody of me, but I don't know why he acted like he wanted me living with him, or at all. Less than a day after the divorce, he married that rich chick, and she moved in with her yappy little dog. She's kinda nice to me, but they spend most of their time…. Doing things. At least she keeps his attention away from me."

"And right after my mom and dad split up, right after he remarried, right in the middle of all this crap going on in my life, I met Beck. He asked me out in the middle of the hall before lunch. I'll never forget that day."

"You know, I rejected him at first. And the time after that, and the time after that. But he just kept coming back. So I gave him a chance, and it turned out to be the best decision I've ever made."

She sniffed, wiped her eyes, and looked up at me.

"And Cat, you really are a sister to me. You're my best friend, and I love you. No matter how much I snap at you, no matter how often I get wazzed off and tell you to be quiet, I really do consider you one of my only friends. You're the only person I've ever had the courage to tell this story to, besides Beck, 'cause I know you guys won't judge me or gossip about it."

Jade sat up, crossed her legs Indian-style, moved her head off my lap and turned to face me. She took my hands, and held them sandwiched between her own. My cuts didn't hurt anymore. She looked me right in the eye, her blue orbs boring into my chocolate ones.

"Cat, listen to me."

I nodded dumbly.

"I've cut myself before. That's how my sister _killed herself._ And as your friend, I can't let you do this anymore. It ruins people's lives. It _ends _them. And if you're not deaf, and if you even care about what I'm saying to you, you'll listen. And you'll _stop._"

She flashed a small, lopsided smirk, one corner of her mouth lifting a tiny bit.

"Here I am, trying to talk to you as a friend, and I end up sharing my life story with you and soaking your pants with tears."

I looked down at my jeans. They _were_ pretty damp.

She put her hand on my shoulder, causing me to look back up at her. Jade's voice went back to her previous tone.

"You're gonna stop. And I'm helping you. Okay?" She gave me a small, hopeful smile.

And just then, I knew Jade wouldn't do this for anyone else. I'm special to her; I'm her best friend. Even when I get really annoying, she won't snap at me or attack me, like she might do to the others. We'll always be there for each other.

I nodded, smiling widely.

"Okay."

**A/N Sorry I haven't updated in a few days! I wrote the first bit of this chapter late at night, and then I couldn't finish it before I went to bed…. I've had plenty of time to write it, but there's also this monster that lives in my room called Homework… And I had to feed him, or he'd eat me. And I think some of you wonderful people just ****might ****be sad about that. Maybe. Lame excuses aside, what did you think of this chapter? Does it make you happy? Do you want to read more? Do you want to puke all over me and my writing? I hope not! Tell me in a review!**

**~IF7**


	6. Restrooms, Revenge, and Robbie

**A/N I see that some of you enjoyed the last chapter…. What did you think of Jade's soft side? She does have one. Anyhoo, since I don't like time skips, here's what happens about two seconds after the end of chapter five. Enjoy!**

****There's a small tribute to one of my all-time favorite authors hidden somewhere in here. Don't pull your hair out trying to figure out who it is, though; their name is in the Author's Note at the bottom.**

**Disclaimer: Do I really have to write these every time? I don't think I could possibly have somehow gained ownership of Victorious in the short period of time since I last updated. **

Cat's PoV

As Jade and I both dried our eyes at the bathroom sink, she pulled her makeup pouch out of her backpack and began reapplying. Swiping on her heavy eyeliner, she commented on my makeup-less face.

"You know, Cat, you almost look better without makeup on." I could tell she wasn't flattering me. Jade West didn't flatter people.

The old Cat would have shouted "What's that supposed to mean?" The old Cat would have taken it as an insult. The old Cat would have overreacted.

Operative word: The _old _Cat.

Instead, I gave her a small smile and said, "Thanks," almost shyly. Like we had just met for the first time. And in a way, we had. For the first time in a long time, I wasn't putting on a fake happy face. I still _had _a happy face, but this one was real.

I had forgotten to bring my makeup pouch to school today. How ridiculous was that? You couldn't be 16 and _forget _something as crucial as makeup, could you?

All the pretty girls thought they'd make themselves look better by caking their face with the stuff. For them I guess it's just something to hide behind. And me? I don't need anything to hide behind, not for a while.

I've had enough of playing hide and seek with life. Today, life won. Well, actually, Tori Vega (ugh. Just thinking her name puts a bad taste on my tongue.) won.

My thoughts were interrupted by Jade jiggling my arm and saying my name in an insistent tone.

"Cat? Helloooo? Earth to Valentine…."

I blinked, shaking my head.

"Sorry, Jade, I was thinking about something."

Her left eyebrow furrowed the tiniest bit.

"You had an angry look on your face. What were you thinking about?"

I sighed. Obviously I couldn't hide much from her.

"I thought Tori was my _friend. _I'm the person she met first on her first day at Hollywood Arts. She's always so sweet and nice to everybody, even if they're mean to her." I sniffed. My eyes were starting to tear up a little. "I've never really understood why you hate her so much until now."

Both of Jade's eyebrows lifted, an incredulous look forming on her face.

"You do?"

I sniffed again and nodded a little.

"I may not hate her as much as you, but she caused all of this…." I trailed off. I didn't want to think about the incident in the hallway anymore; bringing it up hurt. A lot.

Jade smiled.

Uh-oh.

Jade West doesn't smile. Not unless she's thinking about inflicting pain on other people.

I bet she was.

"Um, Jade?"

She didn't even look at me, just continued staring off into space while smiling that evil smile.

I poked her arm.

"Jade?"

She gasped and whirled around to face me, half-frowning.

"Don't poke me when I'm thinking of revenge."

Now I was the one smiling. I moved a little closer, looking over my shoulder.

"So what are you thinking we should do?"

She looked at me strangely.

"What is it? Do I have something on my face?"

"No, Cat. It's just – well, you're not a very 'revenge-y' person, and yet you actually want to _help _me get back at Vega for what she did to you?"

I smiled widely.

"Of course I do. So what's the plan?"

"Well, I was thinking…."

Robbie's PoV

I sighed as I sat down heavily on the stairs by everyone's lockers. We'd checked everywhere we could think of: Sikowitz's classroom, the teacher's lounge, the parking lot, and the janitor's closet. We didn't find anything in any of them, except that creepy janitor dude asleep in a corner of the closet. Since we woke him up when Andre, Beck and I walked in, he whacked me hard on the head with a mop handle.

Tori hadn't been able to help us search for Cat; she was too busy trying to get the bloody handprint off her shirt. She had to run all the way down to the dusty, cobwebbed basement and use the bathroom down there so no one would see her. Which, I guess, makes sense.

We even explored the old abandoned west wing…. It's a creepy, rundown section of the school that no one ever goes into anymore. Don't ask me why. I don't know, and I don't care.

I rubbed the growing lump on top of my head. It ached, but physical pain was nothing compared to what I felt right now. I _had _to find Cat. Who knew what could have happened to her? She might have just jumped into some stranger's van because they said they had candy.

I smiled a little, remembering I had told her that _they usually don't have candy._

But that was Cat for you. Sweet, innocent, crazy, funny, and loud. She even had her own catchphrase: a piercing _"What's that supposed to mean?" _screamed at a decibel level high enough to make your ears ache.

Thinking of her soft, red velvet hair, her smiles that were bright enough to make the sun feel jealous, her adorable dimples, I stood. Determination rushed through me. **No one **is gonna take Cat away from me. I'll find her, even if it's the last thing I do.

I just want to see her smile again, to know she's okay.

As I stood here, feeling unusually confident, a thought hit me. I'd searched just about everywhere in the entire school. After the janitor's closet incident, Andre, Beck and I had split up to cover more ground, even though there wasn't that much left to cover. We were supposed to meet up at my locker when we couldn't find anywhere else to search, but so far, I was the only one here.

But I wouldn't be here for long.

Suddenly, I knew where to look. Where do girls go when they have to fix their makeup after they've been crying? The girl's bathroom. I almost smacked myself for not thinking of it sooner.

The only problem is…. I'm a guy. Well, not according to the prison guards in Yerba. But still, I can't exactly just barge into the girl's bathroom….

So I'll just peek in, and if she's in there, I'll wait outside till my red-velvet haired angel comes out.

Good plan, huh? Yeah, I think so too.

Fortunately, the girl's bathroom was pretty close to my locker. I didn't have that many more steps in me; the guys and I must have walked at least three miles today searching for this girl.

As I stepped over the threshold to the bathroom, I heard voices inside. One was high, light and sweet. I smiled. That was Cat. The other sounded dark and a little bit angry. A shiver ran down my spine. That one was probably Jade. No way I'd risk going in there now; she would rip me apart.

But I had to go talk to Cat. To hold her in my arms and know she was safe.

Hey, everyone's allowed to have an impossible dream, right?

Well, Caterina Hannah Valentine is _my _impossible dream.

I took a deep breath as I flung the door open and barged into the bathroom.

**A/N Yet another cliffhanger. Am I insane? I should certainly hope not! Alright, here's the marvelous person for whom I put in that mini-tribute: StrawberryAngel143! If you're reading this, know that you're an amazing author, and I could not love your stories any more. Write on, Sir or Madam, write on. (Oh, how punny!) **

**Also, to anyone who thought I'd just stop the story right after Jade tells Cat to stop cutting…. You're dead wrong. Why would I do that? I still have to put in the CABBIE!**

******See the bit about the west wing? There maybe possibly could probably just might be theoretically imaginable in some kind of parallel universe…. A story coming from that. A nice, supernatural multichap. Look for it when I'm finished with this one:)**

**Thanks For Reading! Now Review! Yeah, You!**

**~IF7**


	7. Restrooms, Revenge, and Robbie, Part 2

**A/N Hello, my muffins! Hmm. Muffins. But what **_**flavor **_**muffins? Banana nut? That's an intriguing concept…. If you really were muffins, then I could eat my readers if you guys didn't review enough. Talk about a threat to end all threats! Woo!**

**Anyhoo, I'm in rather a strange mood, and therefore, I shall write…. Let's see how it turns out. Beware!**

**WARNING: This chapter contains MAJOR Cabbie. I've vowed never to write anything M-rated, so don't get any ideas. **

**Disclaimer: Me+Victorious=Not Owning=Sadness Squared. :(**

Cat's PoV

I crossed my arms as Jade questioned my willingness to get revenge on Tori. Oh, come on. Why would I _not _want to get back at her for what she did? That skinny brunette _ruined my life._

Well okay, not exactly ruined, really, but still…. Word could get around. No matter how careful I am about this.

_Especially _with Little Miss Cheekbones running around the school with _my _bloody handprint on her shirt. According to Jade, it was extremely noticeable, even when she was wearing a jacket.

Being my best friend, she'd also told me about everything that had happened leading up to that, and how everyone went to search for me. I smiled a bit. So, there _were _a few people in the world who really, genuinely cared about me. That's nice.

But according to my father, _no one _cared about me…. Not him, not my friends, not even my mother. And that's just sick. It's plain **wrong. **

A mother is supposed to always be there for you with a shoulder to cry on or someone to hug. Your house is supposed to be your one safe haven from all the chaos and craziness that goes on in your life. Your parents are supposed to acknowledge your presence with more than a casual, but brutal, kick and a slap every time you walk in the door.

And your brother is _not _supposed to eat things that aren't food. Seriously. He's even weirder than your stories about him suggest; to be on the safe side, you'll always soften them up a bit. You've never told them about the time he ended up in the ER with two walnuts jammed up his nostrils and four cashews in his ears. Instead, you giggled and told them he ate too many nuts, and maybe that's why he's so "nutty."

Yeah. That's the stuff people read in storybooks. The ones about the perfect, loving parents who'd do anything for their beautiful daughter, who actually _want _her. The ones about unicorns and butterflies. The ones about princesses and knights in shining armor. _And one guy in particular in my knight in shining armor…_

As Jade shook me to break me out of my daydream, the guy in question burst through the door, looking less like a knight in shining armor than anyone else I'd ever seen. Covered in sweat, breathing hard, glasses askew, hair tangled, and seemingly oblivious to the fact that _he just barged right into a girls' bathroom, _Robbie barreled in through the swinging floor, slid on the tile, and fell, skidding to a halt near my feet.

Jade snickered rudely. I shot her a piercing, _not now _look as I reached down to help him up. My hand lingered on Robbie's arm for a second, unnoticed by the flustered boy. Through the long-sleeved shirt he was wearing, I could feel the shape of his bicep. Even though it looked thin, it actually felt pretty hard…. Huh. Maybe he wasn't as nerdy and weak as everyone thought. He was just one of those people whose muscles existed, but they didn't show that much.

Thankfully, he didn't notice my eyes lingering on his arm. As he started brushing himself off, my hand fell, soundless and unnoticed, off of his hard bicep. Well, _mostly _unnoticed. I saw Jade's eyebrows lift a little out of the corner of my eye as the blood rushed to my cheeks, turning them deep pink. I folded my arms and turned away, embarrassed.

"Cat?"

It felt like my heart skipped a beat as I heard Robbie's voice. Questioning, yet soft and light enough to be a coo, his kind tone made me half-turn towards him, another blush rising to my cheeks.

"Cat, what happened to you?"

I nearly broke down at the sound of his voice. Patient, it carried the same oddly compassionate tone I'd heard before. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him half reach toward me, then bring his arm back up to scratch the back of his neck. His eyes never once left what little of my face he could see.

Jade smiled, but not unkindly. Crossing her arms, she stepped toward the door. She stopped in the doorway and looked back at us, hand on the swinging barrier.

"I'll leave you two alone for a little while."

As Robbie looked back at her, I gave Jade a quick glance of thanks. Her lips curved up a little as she let go of the door and turned away, the thud of her combat boots growing farther and farther away.

Turning his head back to meet my gaze, Robbie's brown orbs, filled with compassion, melted into mine as he stepped closer. As he came within a few feet of me, he stopped and gently took my hand. I couldn't pull away.

"Cat, _what happened?_"

The smallest gasp left my mouth. This went beyond "brotherly affection." No, _Beck and Andre _spoke to me with brotherly affection, as though I was a goofy little sister of theirs. My own brother couldn't be used for comparison, because we didn't really speak to each other all that much.

But this was different.

His words were soft, his tone imploring, full of kindness.

I looked down to the lines on my wrist; they were dry now. Robbie followed my gaze, his eyes dropping to my wrist. Using his left hand while still holding my hand with his right, he gently turned my wrist over.

I felt like my face would explode with heat. Shame flooded my body, but it was the last thing on my mind to pull away as he saw the lines on my wrist. All I could do was stand there and wait for him to say something.

Robbie's fingers, on my hand, twitched. Dropping to one knee, he slid his palm up to my wrist, stroking the lines with his thumb.

Slowly, he lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it.

His lips trailed up to my wrist, and he kissed every one of the lines that marred the skin.

A chill ran down my spine, but a _good _chill.

I think he felt my wrist shake, because he pulled his mouth away from it and looked up at me.

Coffee brown eyes met chocolate.

Soundlessly, he rose from the floor and gathered me into his arms, sliding his hands up to grasp my elbows. I locked my hands behind his neck, scratching his stubble as his eyes rolled slightly back in his head.

He never looked away from me, and I never looked away from him.

Still lost in each other's eyes, we both started moving closer at the exact same moment.

Slowly, so slowly you could barely tell we were moving, out lips met.

Soft and gentle, his mouth moved against mine in ways I had never felt before. Tremors ran up and down my spine as he moved his hands to the small of my back, pressing me to him. My fingers dug into his curly hair, tangling in it, wanting to keep him there forever.

His tongue brushed against my bottom lip, begging for entrance. I granted him access, opening my mouth as his tongue invaded the space. I flicked my tongue against his a few times, and an all-out battle for dominance began, with him exploring the inside of my mouth and I his.

My back hit something cold and hard, and I vaguely realized that we were now pressed up against one of the bathroom stalls. But I was too engrossed in Robbie to care.

Eventually, he won the tongue war as I gave up with an exhausted moan of pleasure. He half-withdrew, pressing his forehead against mine and breathing heavily through his nose.

Pecking me on the lips a few times, he suddenly moved in and I leaned back towards him, ready to get back to what we'd been doing. But my lips met thin air as he quickly ducked down and placed his lips on my neck. He sucked a few places for a couple seconds before he found my pulse point and nipped it lightly. I shuddered as an involuntary moan escaped my throat.

I could feel him smiling as his lips trailed up and down my neck, leaving light kisses scattered across the smooth skin.

My hands on his stomach, I gently traced patterns on his abs. I moved my fingers up to the skin around his ears, cupping my hands there and drawing his mouth back up to mine. We resumed our tongue war, but this time I won.

Robbie mumbled something between one kiss and the next. I bent my head closer to his.

"Sorry, didn't catch that."

He glanced at me, love sparkling in his eyes.

"Cat, will you be my girlfriend?"

I giggled, looking down at my hands and back up at him.

"Of course, silly."

We both smiled.

"Then let's go find the others. They're still looking for you."

We walked hand in hand out the bathroom door, straight into what looked like an all-out war between Jade West and Tori Vega.

**A/N Hi there. This will be short, since I'm breaking the rules by using the computer right now. Should Jade: a.) Beat Tori with a salami b.) Cut up her homework assignment c.) Leave a dead squirrel in her locker or d.) Do nothing? Well….. I'm waiting for your opinions! **

**Leave me a funny review if possible, please. I need to laugh a lot.**

**P.S. I saw Helen Back Again for the first time tonight… Hooray for butt-kicking Trina! And I loved Cat's re-audition!**

**I meant to update last night, but then I got kicked off the computer for something I didn't do. I realize this may not be the best time to update, but I really wanted to put this chapter out there. I'll probably write a new one after school.**

**I Love You All! Please Review!**

**~IF7**


	8. Of Salami and Sleeping Hobos

**A/N Sup, muffins! I said I'd be writing a new chapter soon, didn't I? Yeah, I know I did. Hooray for creative moods! Thanks a lot for the two awesome reviews I got last chapter! I worked my butt off on that thing and also risked death by accessing the computer against my parents' wishes! So you're welcome! I love exclamation points! I think you can tell!**

**But seriously, thank you. Thank you guys so much for your support, kindness, funny reviews, muffins, and all that good stuff.**

**Disclaimer: Really? Do I have to say it ****yet**** again? I do? Okay then. I don't own Victorious. Sigh….**

Robbie's PoV

Hand in hand, Cat and I walked out of the ladies' room. I was so busy staring into Cat's chocolate brown eyes that I didn't even notice the full-fledged battle going on between Jade West and Tori Vega until I ran straight into the prominently cheekboned brunette.

I quickly stepped back, not wanting to be involved in the chick fight. It turned out to be a wise decision, as Jade quickly took advantage of Tori's distraction and tackled her legs, bringing her down. She quickly scrambled on top of her enemy and straddled her, the brunette spitting strands of hair out of her mouth.

Jade brandished a three-foot-long salami above the other girl's head.

"Alright, Vega. Time for a little payback."

Raising the salami high above her head, she swung it down towards Tori's face, only to be stopped by Cat's small hand. The synthetic redhead's hand, grasping he giant meat stick, gently tugged it out of her best friend's grasp. Jade looked thunderstruck as Cat tossed the salami into a nearby trash can.

Tori lifted her head and looked back at Cat, who met her gaze with tightly pressed, slightly quivering lips and squinted eyes. She flinched back slightly at the normally cheerful girl's hostile gaze. She looked around for a hand to help her up, and, not finding one, Tori pulled herself to her feet and dusted herself off.

Tori frowned as she picked bits of meat off her shirt. I noticed that it wasn't the one with Cat's bloody handprint on it; she must have washed that one and changed.

Looking around at the three of us, Tori's face blanched. Obviously, the odds were against her. Jade had been growing more and more impatient and angry-looking and was just about to resume her fight with Tori when Beck and Andre quickly walked up to us, breathing hard.

Andre ran his fingers through his dreads as he spoke, sounding exhausted.

"We couldn't find her anywhere, and we double-checked everywhere we'd already looked – "

His voice broke off as he saw me and Cat standing hand in hand. His hand fell out of his hair and into a half-pointing position as his voice trailed off in shock. Beck just smiled knowingly and reached out to Jade, wrapping his arm around her as she turned towards him, pecking him on the lips and letting him wrap his arm around her shoulders. Tori just stood there awkwardly, watching everyone like a deer in the headlights. She rubbed her shoulder.

"You know, Jade, I think I'm gonna have a bruise there…. And where _did _you get that salami anyway?"

Beck looked at her and jerked his head towards us.

"Tell them."

Jade let out an irritated sigh.

"I stole it off a sleeping hobo, okay?"

Beck looked at her disapprovingly.

"Jade, why'd you beat Tori with a – "

Cat interrupted him, speaking quietly.

"Let me explain…. It's a long story."

We all gestured for her to go ahead, but as she opened her mouth to speak, the PA system blared loudly.

"_Cat Valentine to the guidance counselor's office, please."_

She gasped in shock and quickly buried her face in my chest. I absentmindedly brought my hand up to stroke her hair, wondering what could have happened to my red-haired angel.

She lifted her face from my chest, linked her arm with mine, and looked at the others. They were just standing there looking confused, except for Jade, who was playing with a strand of Beck's hair.

"I haven't been completely honest with you guys." It killed me to hear the pain in her voice.

Jade and I spoke in unison.

"No kidding." We looked at each other. Jade and I were the people Cat trusted the most; her best friend and her new boyfriend. She'd told me the whole story in the bathroom in between kissing and….More kissing. She told me she had always loved me and that I was the best thing that had ever happened to her. And I believed her. She continued, her voice shaky and uncertain.

"But now's really not the time. I promise I'll tell you all the whole story later, but right now, I've gotta go see Lane."

"We're coming with you."

I was surprised at the determined tone in my voice. Cat really had awakened new feelings in me. I had only just found her; no way was I going to lose her again. I gazed at the others, silently pleading.

"Guys?"

They all nodded in assent. Most of them may not have known what was going on, but they, like, me, hated to see Cat sad and uncertain. We'd support her through whatever life threw her way.

She smiled in thanks and we all walked to Lane's office together, the others following, my arm around her shoulder, her arms encircling my waist.

As we opened the door to Lane's Zen-like office, he rose up off his wicker chair with a somber face and walked towards us.

He took a bottle of lotion, squirted some onto his hands, and rubbed it in before he spoke. As his expression grew even grimmer, the scent of cookies and cream rose to my nostrils.

Noticing Cat's devastated look, he stopped rubbing and put the lotion down. Looking her straight in the eye, he spoke.

"Cat, it's your father."

**A/N I'm addicted to cliffhangers. They're like my coffee. Except I've never had a cup of coffee before in my whole entire life. I'm an odd child… But and odd child who writes stories that, apparently, you people like to read! How about that! **

**Anyway, my muffins, I'm sorry I made this chapter so short and fluffy…. I'm breaking the rules again by using the computer. Hooray for rebellion! But the next chapter will be long and juicy and full of angst and sorrow, I assure you. Hope you enjoyed the attempted salami beatings! Please, please, please, leave me a funny review. I need something to make me smile; I haven't felt real joy in a while. - Ooo looky, a rhyme! Wow!**

**Keep Reading and Reviewing, and Making me Smile.**

**~IF7**


	9. Of Graves, Goodbyes, and Good Endings

**A/N Hi there, O my muffins…. Hasn't been very long, I know. But I decided to update anyway, mostly because of the short chapter and cliffhanger I left you on last time. But here's some good news: I got 6 reviews for the last chapter! Woooooooot! That's, like…. Half a dozen! Yay! Thank you guys so much. Enjoy, and pleeeeeease, let's try to get me up to thirty reviews…. Please? *Makes puppy face***

**Disclaimer: Insert witty variation of "I don't own Victorious" here.**

Cat's PoV

Lane's words were grim. A silence fell after he completed his sentence. Suddenly the quiet seemed deafening, a death knell ringing in my ears, growing louder and louder. I wanted to scream, to cover my ears, to shut everyone but Robbie away. I wanted to turn to him, to kiss him, to let him stroke my hair and tell me that everything was going to be okay. I knew what was happening. It was almost like I'd been waiting for this moment, subconsciously anticipating it.

But I never could have predicted the shock, the sheer terror that ran through my veins as everything came to a standstill. The roaring in my ears grew more intense, so thunderous I thought the walls would crumble. Slowly the world started to spin, a dizzying vortex with me in the center.

I wanted to scream, to run away from the noise and the revolving room, but I couldn't move.

I didn't even feel the impact on my back, the sudden feeling of lying horizontally as voices clamored around me and the world faded to utterly black silence.

Suddenly, sound rushed back to me. Worried voices squabbled over each other as quiet, calming music played in the background. The surface beneath me felt soft and cushioned. Someone held my hand, gently moving their thumb in circles on my palm. Probably Robbie.

I guessed I was still in Lane's office, lying on his couch.

The voices quieted immediately as I slowly opened my eyes and sat up, taking in the scene around me.

Robbie sat next to me on the couch, still holding my hand. Lane was standing in the corner with Tori and Andre; the worried voices I'd heard had been theirs. Jade ad Beck sat together, she in his lap, on Lane's famous wicker chair. It looked like they'd been maintaining a silent vigil, watching over my unconscious body.

"How –" My voice, low and raspy, cracked as I spoke. I coughed and my voice went back to normal as I continued speaking. "How long was I out?"

Robbie continued rubbing the back of my hand in smooth circles with his thumb as he spoke. "Only about twenty minutes."

Jade swung her legs off of Lane's chair and stood up, pulling Beck with her. Robbie kept talking. "You gave us quite a scare there, Kitty-Cat."

I smiled a little at his nickname for me, and then frowned. I remembered my father calling me that during one of his drunken rages, when I was only twelve…. Whispering, "C'mere, Kitty-Cat…." As he advanced on me with a broken beer bottle. I still had a scar on my stomach from that night.

Robbie saw the look on my face and squeezed my hand a little, breaking me out of my horrible memories. "What's wrong, Cat?" he said as he looked concernedly into my face.

I shook my head, trying to dispel the cloud of terror I felt as I recalled that night.

"It's nothing."

Hearing my denial, Lane stepped forward and looked me square in the eye. Hr spoke a little sternly to me.

"No, Cat, it's not 'nothing.' It's exactly the opposite. No girl just faints for no reason of she hears a mention of her father."

I looked away from him, my lips pressed tightly together. I couldn't let them find out, not now; Robbie would probably leave me if he heard what had been going on in my life for years.

Lane bent closer to me, hand on his knees.

"Cat, what's been going on with your father?"

I broke down sobbing. I just couldn't take it anymore. The pressure of having to hide everything, to put up a façade, to shut out the world and don a happy face no matter what happened had finally become too much.

I was tired of lying.

Sobbing, I clutched Robbie's chest as he pulled me into a tight embrace. He rubbed my back and soothed me with low shushing sounds and whispered "It's okay"'s until I calmed down. I pulled back, sniffing and wiping my eyes.

"I haven't really been honest with most of you." My voice quavered, but I was determined to end the lie once and for all.

I began telling them the whole story, about the abuse, the cutting, the whole entire act that made up the Cat Valentine they knew up until today. As I finished telling them the story, I mentioned the incident with my father and the broken bottle. I lifted my shirt up a little to show them the jagged white scar that stretched from my lower abdomen to my left ribcage.

Gasps filled the room. Tears glimmered in Robbie's eyes as he pulled me into a short but sweet kiss. After pulling away, he wrapped both arms around my waist in a tight hug.

I looked at Jade; her hand was over her mouth and she looked shocked. A small tear ran down her face, but she didn't wipe it away. Beck wrapped his arm around her shoulders and squeezed tightly, kissing her hair. Even _he _looked unsettled. Tori, Lane, and Andre were all silent, Andre paler than usual and Tori frozen in a position of reaching for his hand. Lane just looked shocked.

"That's from my father." My voice shattered the silence. I had to let them know.

Lane leaned closer to me, folding his hands.

"So, Cat, you're father's been abusing you for how long now?"

I flinched a little at his blunt question, but I wouldn't back down. Not now.

"Um, there's not really a starting point…. My parents have always been horrible to me. It wasn't as bad when I was a little girl, just a few nasty looks here and there, but the physical abuse started when I was about…. Eleven."

"And my mom never….Participates in it, but she just stands around watching and doing nothing, which is really just as bad."

Lane looked as if he was concentrating very hard on something, probably making calculations in his head.

"So you've been…. Enduring this for _five _years now?" His voice sounded as shocked as he looked.

I shook my head. "_Almost _five years. I'll be sixteen in two days, on Wednesday."

Robbie pulled me closer and whispered, "Happy early birthday, honey." I shivered pleasurably as his teeth grazed my earlobe. "Thanks," I whispered back.

Lane cleared his throat. "So, Cat, you're still a minor, then…. How to tell you this…. Hmm…." His voice trailed off as he stroked his stubbly chin, apparently deep in thought.

"Tell her what? Can you just get to the point already? We've been in here for half an hour now!" Jade's harsh, irritated tone made me flinch, but at least her annoyance was directed at Lane, not any of us. Still, I frowned. She shouldn't be mean to the man; he was just trying to do his job, and probably make sure I wouldn't faint again. Glancing at me, she saw my disapproving expression and softened her tone. She looked back at Lane, silently pleading for the information he'd been withholding until now. "Sorry. I meant _can you please _get to the point…. No offense, but we have class."

Lane shook his head. "I'm sorry to have kept you so long. And don't worry about your classes, I'll tell your teachers not to grill you guys for going home."

Wait, going home? We were all going home? Why? Why did Lane have to be so cryptic?

Lane sighed as he scratched his neck, and then squatted down to my eye level, staring straight at me. I trembled in terrified anticipation of what he might say. Subconsciously, I knew what his words would be, but in my conscious mind I was still unaware.

"Cat, your father died this morning."

I gasped and bit my lip, burying my face in Robbie's chest. I have to admit, I never thought I'd cry over _that monster, _as I thought of him, but a life is a life, and a death is a death, no matter whose.

The guidance counselor's face softened as he spoke. "It seems that he was driving home, took too tight a turn on McClellan Road, and his car went off the road and into a ravine. But I'm told he passed instantly, and that he felt no pain. The EMT's found these in his jacket pocket." His voice somber, Lane passed me a thick pink envelope with my name on it, and a small pink felt-covered jewelry box.

My breath hitched as I looked at the little pink box and the envelope, all that remained of my father except scars and painful memories. A tear splashed onto the box's lid, followed by another, then another. I strove to control myself, to not break down in front of everyone.

I opened the envelope and began to read aloud.

"_My Dearest Caterina: Know that if you are reading this, I could not be any prouder of you than I am now. You and your mother both have chosen to stay with me during these five long years, and to endure my drunken companionship. I don't know how you've survived this; for all this time, I have been nothing more than a brutal stranger to you, my own flesh and blood. When I, sober for the first time in a while, saw the fear in your eyes as you walked past me on your way out the door this morning, I knew it was time to make a change. I have taken a solemn vow never to touch alcohol again, and to reform myself; to be the father you have always wanted, the one you and your brother deserve. I cannot possibly apologize enough for the crimes I have committed over the years; the abuse, the shouting, the constant harassment. But allow me to start trying now. I am sorry. I am sorry I wasn't there when you won first place at your sixth grade dance-off. I am sorry I wasn't there when you rode a pony for the first time. I am sorry for when I attacked you with a broken beer bottle and gave you that scar across your stomach. For all of the times I have abused you, in every way, shape, and form, be it physical or verbal, I offer this heartfelt apology. Please accept it. From this moment forward, I promise to be the dad you've always wanted, the one you deserve. No more alcohol, no more abuse, no more shouting and hatred. Our family will finally be a real family again. This do I solemnly swear; so help me God._

_And now, Caterina, I offer this one last gift: in the jewelry box you should have received along with this letter, there is a locket. Inside is picture we took at your fifth grade dance recital. Like you, the outside of the locket may be precious, but it's what's inside that truly counts. Caterina, I hope that whatever young man has laid eyes on you will see your inner beauty and love you for who you are. You deserve happiness._

_Please accept this gift as well as my sincere apology. I'm thankful that I've managed to turn my life around in time for your sixteenth birthday; it's a big event in your life, and you deserve someone who can truly believe in you and support you through whatever lies ahead._

_I love you with all my heart._

_~Daddy_

I had no words to describe what I felt.

But I knew this.

My father did not die a raging, abusive alcoholic. My father died a redeemed man, going home to the family he loved. And he died a man forgiven and loved by his only daughter.

I sobbed my eyes out as the casket was lowered into the freshly dug grave.

Standing at the headstone, the minister asked any relatives to step forward. My mother, my brother and I separated from the small group of attendees and walked over to where he stood.

He bent his head to us and quietly said something to my mother about "casting the first handful of earth" before the wind picked up and whipped away the rest of his word. My brother just stood there, chewing on the sleeve of his black sport coat.

The minister and my mother finished talking, and he motioned us forward to the edge of the hole. I peered down into the pit. A small teardrop fell from my eyes and onto the casket as I stooped down, grabbed a clod of earth, and crumpled it into the hole, listening to the pattering sound it made. My mother and my brother copied me.

We stood back as two men with shovels came forward to finish the job. They did their work quickly, filling in the hole and smoothing the earth out. I stepped forward to look at the headstone, reading the inscription.

_In memory of James Christopher Valentine, a much-loved husband and father._

I kissed the locket that lay on my chest as the sun broke through the heavy clouds, heralding a new day.

I dried my eyes a Robbie, Tori, Andre, Jade, Beck and I walked among the headstones of the departed. When the ceremony had concluded, we had decided to visit the other graves and pay our respects. So far we had found a long-lost cousin of Andre's, Tori's grandmother, and a lady called Yvonne Sikowitz. We weren't sure she was any relation to our beloved, albeit weird improv teacher, but there aren't that many people with a last name like that.

As we passed through rows of cold stone, Robbie's arm around my waist, Jade suddenly halted and called out to us.

"You guys…. It's Jessica."

Kneeling at the foot of the grave, she quietly sobbed a few times as she desperately clung to Beck's hand like a lifeline. Jade motioned us all forward, and I walked closer to read the words engraved on the headstone.

_Here lies Jessica Anne West, a beautiful daughter and a loving sister._

As Jade wept softly, a few of her tears fell on the petals of a flower growing near the gravestone. Apparently planted by a kind-hearted stranger, it inexplicably thrived in an environment where, up next to a rock, most of its kind would not be able to survive. I smiled at the hardiness of the little plant as it swayed in the breeze, Jade's teardrops glistening on its petals like jewels.

The flower was a scarlet rose.

We walked inside the quiet little chapel that stood on the outskirts of the graveyard. The footsteps of our quiet little group rang out on the marble, echoing in the still silence that pervaded the room.

After Jade had finished visiting her sister's grave, we had wandered in here to sit down and rest. The graves we had visited had been scattered far apart, and my father's was an especially long way away from the main building.

I sat on a velvet covered bench, perfectly comfortable in Robbie's lap. He rubbed my back in small circles, soothing me with his hands and helping me release the built-up stress and tension of the day. On another bench next to us, Beck and Jade held a similar position, kissing softly but passionately now and then, him murmuring comforting words while running his fingers gently through her hair. Andre and Tori stood near each other, leaning against a wall.

Tori's voice broke the silence.

"So, um, Cat…." She looked at me, a multitude of emotions flashing across her face one after another. Shame, sadness, regret, sheepish hope, and a little fear.

"Is there any way you can forgive me? You know, for what happened? I never meant for any of this to come about…." Her voice trailed off as she gestured helplessly with her hands, trying and failing to find words to express her feelings.

I smiled. "Tori, it's okay. It's not your fault that I was like that, and it's not your fault that my dad was an alcoholic who changed at the last minute. It's _none _of your faults, okay?" I looked them all in the eyes as I said this, making sure I got my point across.

A confused look flashed across Andre's face. "But wait, Lil' Red, I just realized something…. Where are you gonna live from now on? You could stay with any one of us if you need to."

I shook my head, still smiling. "Thanks, but I'll be just fine. My mom's going to keep taking care of my brother and me. She told me that she never meant for things to turn out this badly, that at the funeral she made herself a promise to turn her life around and be a real mother. She said that she never beat me with my dad because she felt helpless, like there was nothing she could do, but she forced herself to watch so that one day, she could work up the courage to stop him. All she ever wanted was the best for me, and she never stopped loving me. But she was too afraid at the time to do anything. My mom begged for my forgiveness, and what else could I do but give it to her? So pretty much, everything's gonna be alright." I grinned and rubbed my nose against Robbie's.

He smiled and pulled me into a kiss that quickly deepened. All of a sudden I found myself lying flat under him on the soft surface of the bench as his tongue invaded my mouth, exploring every inch of it. I returned the probing, and our war quickly ended in a tie as he pulled away.

The sound came rushing back to my ears, and I heard the others' protests.

"Come on, guys, not in a church," said Andre, amused but slightly disapproving.

"Oh, fine," Robbie grumbled as he allowed me to sit up and scoot next to him. He put his arm around my shoulder as I slid my head into the crook of his neck. "Better?" Andre nodded yes.

I enjoyed the position for a few minutes before an embarrassing sound shattered the silence. My stomach growled loudly, and then sullenly gurgled a few more times as I blushed, mortified. Jade glanced at me, half of her mouth lifting up in a grin.

I shifted in my seat. "Guys, can we go eat now? I really want some pizza," I pleaded quietly as my stomach continued to complain.

Robbie squeezed my shoulders and stood up. "Sure we can, Kitty." A warm smile graced his face as he turned toward the door. "Are you all coming?" They nodded in assent and stood up.

Robbie held the door for me like a gentleman, then raced to catch up to me as I ran ahead, giggling madly. He caught up with me and swung me into his arms, carrying my weight easily as he spun me around and kissed me full-on. I responded willingly, throwing my hands around his neck and pulling him closer. When the kiss finally ended, he set me own and put an arm around my waist as we walked towards his car, the others following behind us.

He unlocked the door and held it for me, then walked over to his side, got in, and started the engine. He looked over at me as a quiet, beautiful melody played in the background. Around us, our friends were getting into their cars as the beautiful colors of the dying light shifted on the horizon.

"Cat?"

"Yeah."

"I love you. We'll make it through this."

"One day at a time….. I love you, too."

Our fingers entwined as we drove off into the setting sun.

**A/N So, my beautiful muffins, here ends the story of Scarlet Hopes and Paper Dreams! Hope you liked it! But don't get your knickers/panties/undergarments in general in a twist, because… I'M DOING A SEQUEL! YAY! Look for it sooooooooooon!**

**I'm really proud of myself for being able to finish this story. It's caused a considerable amount of chaos within my life, but it was totally, one hundred percent worth it. My mother read it for the first time yesterday, and…. Things happened. Were I to tell you everything, this Author's note would be a lot longer. I love my mom so much. She's absolutely amazing. So I asked her if I could keep writing tonight, and she said yes! BOOMBAH! So there ya have it! **

**I really, really, really cannot even find the words to express how much I love you guys. Thanks you, thank you, thank you so much for reading and reviewing, for all your alerts and favorites and constant encouragement. Please, if you enjoyed this story, leave me one last, long, awesome review. I know you can do it. Come on…. It'll warm the cockles of my heart. Tell me what you liked about this fanfic! I need to know these things! **

**Love, Love, Love, Love, Love always,**

**~IF7**


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